A few things have been happening around me which have propelled me to write. I guess I initially stopped blogging because I was told that I only write about negative things. But I've found it to be cathartic to express these downers - u know just get it out of the system, I don't necessarily need a reaction, it's just for me. It's not meant to influence anyone, or make you, the reader, feel negative, etc.
Aware - the issue with aware just rankles me to the boot. On a basic level, I work for a non profit organisation, and I always thought that an organisation that was looking into the needs of women was worthy enough of my time. And money - that is why earlier this year, I signed up as a member. There was a whiff of freshness about the approach of a new staff I sensed, and I paid up and became a member. I've not been able to attend any activities due to the hectic nature of my schedule (classes in the evening almost every weekday) but I didn't expect that when my time freed up, I would be attending an EGM to express a vote of non confidence on "elected" Exco. Everyone in Singapore is aware of the situation but to succintly summarise it for my one non Singaporean reader, Aware is an advocacy group for women (www.aware.org.sg) and a group of right wing fundamentalist Christians, who are anti abortion, anti homosexuals, etc etc have taken over the organisation. Most of the members haven't served in the organisation previously, and only became members less than 6 months ago.
So, the old Guards have asked for an EGM and this news has been making headlines for the last 10 days. It's been quite dramatic, with the employer of the current president, chastising her for taking up the appointment despite their unhappiness. So, this Sat there's gonna be some blood spilled. I'm all for an inclusive society. One of the evil side members, had emailed me, asking to sign a petition against the sexuality programme that Aware conducts. He tried to convince ME of all people, that homosexuality isn't like being left or right handed, that it was more of a disorder of the tormented mind. Well, I told him I believed that everyone is born bisexual. In the usual evangelical way, he wanted to dialogue with me, to set me straight on the "right" path. Maybe I should try to convert him to my diabolical ways. Tee hee.
More to come later, off to a yummy Thai meal. Drool away.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wife's Wishlist
Apparently the people in my blogging circle are too busy to blog so I've decided to write something just for the sake of!
First, here's an article on how men should treat their women, from a Muslim perspective. It has some good pointers for people regardless of religion or race I believe. Read on!
How to be a Successful Husband
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their wives the best. And I am the best amongst you to my wives." Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!
First, here's an article on how men should treat their women, from a Muslim perspective. It has some good pointers for people regardless of religion or race I believe. Read on!
How to be a Successful Husband
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their wives the best. And I am the best amongst you to my wives." Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Prices skyrocketing everywhere
I am feeling more and more frustrated about living in Singapore. The cost of everything goes higher and higher, and my pay is fixed. My mind just can't figure how the government devises its policies.
There are several things in my mind. First the 20% increase in the power supply bills. Firstly, the provision of public goods usually lies with the government so that it can be affordable to the common man. This seems to no longer applicable, at least not in Singapore. What is hypocritical is the series of ads that were run on saving on your bills, etc etc. They were only softening the ground to spring this sudden increase in the cost of one of the basic necessities in life. I feel so bamboozled, like I am a fool. Granted, am sure the cost of fuel, etc has gone up but to suddenly foist a 20% increase on its citizens is cruel. Perhaps it would be better to have a free market in this instance than have the government provide basic necessities.
For example in the US, you can choose which company you want buy your gas from. Competition is borne to make the prices offered more competive isn't it? Anything is better than having these ill explained sharp increases dumped on you.
And what does the media do, being the fourth estate - they merely are the mouthpiece of this villany. When will our voices, the voice of the common man be heard when the media is not doing any service to us, or facilitating the opposing view of the government. But then again, am I the only one feeling this way - cornered with no opportunity to live, to breathe?
Secondly, I found out yesterday, that for the balloting exercise as well as half a yearly sales - that if I wasn't working for 24 months continuously, i am NOT ELGIBLE for the $30,000 HDB Top Up Grant. Why not?? Who can explain this incredibly stupid clause? So why bother with your so called pro family policies when I can't even afford a place to live? I shall sign off now before my blood boils and spews out through my ears!
Dismal Birthday Lunch
I am determined to blog about my experiences henceforth, forget spelling, grammar, sentence structure. "Just write" is my new motto! (Zai's inner voice goes, "shouldn't you be writing your term papers instead" Hee hee
Anyways, in this entry I am venting once again, this time about service.
I had taked dead Noushi to his brithday lunch yesterday. He was really sweet on my birthday, he had come by during my lunch and we had some of my favourite food, pasta. He prefers Indian food (of course, duh!) and I decided to take him to one of the restaurants on Race Course Road. I had heard of Copper Chimney before and was especially keen since I enjoy Indianised Chinese food. My family used to thoroughly enjoy Indian Wok, when the previous chef used to cook up a storm. The manager was very personable and the epitome of great service staff. He made the family feel like we were VIPs every time we went there. Anyways, that was the old Indian Work, now everything about the place sucks!
Back to Copper Chimney, Noushi and I were the only people there when we went. They are now located opposite Mustafa Centre, on Syed Alwi Road. The decor looked sparse, and I was really expecting a conducive ambience. The pictures on the website are certainly misleading.
Once I walked in, I didn't really get good vibes at all. We should have changed our mind then and there but I was too excited about passing my gift to him that I overlooked the initial tardiness. The service staff were waiting around the kitchen area instead of coming to take our order. When the guy came, he had a sullen face. We ordered saffron rice, chinese style cauliflower, one naan, tandoori chicken and prawn masala. Later I ordered some sesame lamb that sounded yummy.
I wish I had taken a photo, but the food, especially the sesame lamb was soaked in oil and salty. I must say that the rest of the food was average, and nowhere near worth the money that I paid for. Another staff brought the bill, and the general feeling conveyed by all the service staff was "How dare you disturb our siesta." I really felt like we were intruding their space. They were unfriendly and had a dour expression. The only bright spark in the whole experience was having my sweetie pie with me. The place certainly left my mouth with a bad taste! A big X to Copper Chimney!
Anyways, in this entry I am venting once again, this time about service.
I had taked dead Noushi to his brithday lunch yesterday. He was really sweet on my birthday, he had come by during my lunch and we had some of my favourite food, pasta. He prefers Indian food (of course, duh!) and I decided to take him to one of the restaurants on Race Course Road. I had heard of Copper Chimney before and was especially keen since I enjoy Indianised Chinese food. My family used to thoroughly enjoy Indian Wok, when the previous chef used to cook up a storm. The manager was very personable and the epitome of great service staff. He made the family feel like we were VIPs every time we went there. Anyways, that was the old Indian Work, now everything about the place sucks!
Back to Copper Chimney, Noushi and I were the only people there when we went. They are now located opposite Mustafa Centre, on Syed Alwi Road. The decor looked sparse, and I was really expecting a conducive ambience. The pictures on the website are certainly misleading.
Once I walked in, I didn't really get good vibes at all. We should have changed our mind then and there but I was too excited about passing my gift to him that I overlooked the initial tardiness. The service staff were waiting around the kitchen area instead of coming to take our order. When the guy came, he had a sullen face. We ordered saffron rice, chinese style cauliflower, one naan, tandoori chicken and prawn masala. Later I ordered some sesame lamb that sounded yummy.
I wish I had taken a photo, but the food, especially the sesame lamb was soaked in oil and salty. I must say that the rest of the food was average, and nowhere near worth the money that I paid for. Another staff brought the bill, and the general feeling conveyed by all the service staff was "How dare you disturb our siesta." I really felt like we were intruding their space. They were unfriendly and had a dour expression. The only bright spark in the whole experience was having my sweetie pie with me. The place certainly left my mouth with a bad taste! A big X to Copper Chimney!
Friday, September 26, 2008
The tyranny of the majority race
As you can see, I haven't blogged in ages. So it must have taken an incident of great importance for me to want to vent about.
Last week, I attended a work related meeting, it was for an Appreciation Ceremony for volunteers. It was held at the sister organisation's premises. The Chairman of the Committee hadn't attended the previous meeting so the tone was a little different. Boy was I in for a rude shock!
When the meeting started, in the first place, there was no clear, welcome to the meeting, sorry I wasn't able to make it for the meeting, etc. So he just launches right into the meeting - in Mandarin! I was mildly annoyed but that is far from how I felt half way through the meeting because they kept smattering the communication with words I didn't know about. I kept eyeballing and making my annoyance known to my colleague from the sister organisation. I was even more flabberghasted as I was supposed to take minutes. "How in the world am I supposed to take minutes, I don't think I am taking anymore minutes!" I told him. He too looked flustered because his ED and another colleague of his had also clearly said "Channel 5" etc but it was just so natural for them to ignore the Indian that the rest (mainly the Chairperson - Manjan No 1, and another guy, Manjan 2) who kept speaking in Mandarin or god knows what other dialect.
At one point, I got so exasperated and disgusted, in the middle of Manjan 2's Mandarin outpouring, I raised my voice to be heard and I said "I don't understand what is being said!" He laughingly says "Maybe you should learn Mandarin!" and I told him, "Maybe you should learn English", laughingly too of course. The irony is, the Committee was considering a celebration of the different ethnicities as a theme. The dress code is ethnic wear. My toes are laughing.
I have felt like an outsider many a times in my own country - where people of the majority race have refused to sit next to me because of my ethnicity, or taught their children to call us "Appu Ne ne (meaning dark skinned people), cover their noses when we are in the same lift, not being shortlisted as I don't speak or write Mandarin. This incident must be the mother of all arrogance that characterises the way that a sizeable number of the majority race views the minorities.
My point is - don't sweep racism under the carpet and pretend that it doesn't exist. Don't pretend that our children don't suffer from racism from their peers, their teachers who label them generously, don't deny that Indians and Malays get rejected from jobs eventhough they are fully qualified and some even speak Mandarin because they are the wrong colour. What a jokeRacial Harmony Day is! Ethnic Integration Policy my foot. I am sure our parents and grandparents lived much more cohesively in the good ole kampung days.
This is one reason why I will never feel a strong affinity to Singapore - because as a country, we have failed to address the problem of racism. The majority ruling class will never understand because they have had never experienced the brunt of racism, and even if they had in their travels, it just probably makes them more committed to create a haven for their own race - where they feel that accepted and the norm. When Chingapore, become Singapore, a true melting pot, maybe other ethnic minorities will feel they can call this city state "home". There are many things I appreciate about this country - but this country is just a country for now.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Drifting Along
I haven't really blogged religiously - I wonder what really propels people to blog on a regular basis! I don't really just want to update about what happens in my life per se, yet forming opinions about the world around us requires some element of thinking and organising one's ideas in a manner that flows and is interesting to read.
I went to register myself for the NTU Mass Comm Masters programme today. I would describe it as HARROWING! I already figured that the campus was godforsaken when I went to drop off my application - I am even more certain of it's bizarreness now. The designers of the place must be some mad architects. It is a maze of hilly slopes with funny looking sheltered walkways. Even the students don't know much beyond one or two lecture theatres I think. I was led on a wild goose chase while people were providing me with all sorts of wrong directions. You might wonder - why didn't I just use the map? The maps cause even more confusion and do more to mystify the locations then enlighten.
It was supposed to be really simple, go to the student service centre and make a payment and then make your way to LT26 to register yourself with the proof of payment. It sounds like a no brainer but with absolutely no clear directions on the location in this mammoth sprawling campus, I felt like I was in some Amazing Race episode, racing against time and the elements (It was REALLY hot). The bus stops are so far away from each other and you have to walk a very long distance to get anywhere.
Have I been spoiled by NUS? I don't remember every having any trouble, even in my first few days as an Undergraduate finding my way around, not only in Arts, but in Engineering, or Law or even Science. There were so many clear signages directing us to our destination.
I just hope that I wouldn't ever have to venture beyond the MMC room (by the way, I am yet to locate it!) when classes start.
Speaking of classes, I am so conflicted about whether I should do the Masters full time or part time.
Full Time - $9000 per year (maximum candidature is 2 years, so up to $18000 for 2 years)
Part Time - $6000 per year (maximum candidature is 4 years, so up to $24,000 for 4 years)
It isn't so much the cost as either way I have to take a loan, it is the number of classes. As a full time student, I must take at least 3 classes per semester, whereas as a part time student, I can even take 1. Can I cope with 3 classes per week when I am working? That is the question ...
I went to register myself for the NTU Mass Comm Masters programme today. I would describe it as HARROWING! I already figured that the campus was godforsaken when I went to drop off my application - I am even more certain of it's bizarreness now. The designers of the place must be some mad architects. It is a maze of hilly slopes with funny looking sheltered walkways. Even the students don't know much beyond one or two lecture theatres I think. I was led on a wild goose chase while people were providing me with all sorts of wrong directions. You might wonder - why didn't I just use the map? The maps cause even more confusion and do more to mystify the locations then enlighten.
It was supposed to be really simple, go to the student service centre and make a payment and then make your way to LT26 to register yourself with the proof of payment. It sounds like a no brainer but with absolutely no clear directions on the location in this mammoth sprawling campus, I felt like I was in some Amazing Race episode, racing against time and the elements (It was REALLY hot). The bus stops are so far away from each other and you have to walk a very long distance to get anywhere.
Have I been spoiled by NUS? I don't remember every having any trouble, even in my first few days as an Undergraduate finding my way around, not only in Arts, but in Engineering, or Law or even Science. There were so many clear signages directing us to our destination.
I just hope that I wouldn't ever have to venture beyond the MMC room (by the way, I am yet to locate it!) when classes start.
Speaking of classes, I am so conflicted about whether I should do the Masters full time or part time.
Full Time - $9000 per year (maximum candidature is 2 years, so up to $18000 for 2 years)
Part Time - $6000 per year (maximum candidature is 4 years, so up to $24,000 for 4 years)
It isn't so much the cost as either way I have to take a loan, it is the number of classes. As a full time student, I must take at least 3 classes per semester, whereas as a part time student, I can even take 1. Can I cope with 3 classes per week when I am working? That is the question ...
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Price of Charity
It was one of those experiences that makes one feel a sense of bewilderment and anger all rolled into one - so much so that one is speechless and motionless for a few minutes after the incident.
My boyfriend and I were strolling (if that is possible in Orchard Road!) along on Saturday evening after a wonderful dinner. At the new entrance of Orchard MRT Station, there was an elderly lady who was standing smack in the middle of the entrance, with her array of knicks knacks and touting them to the passerbys. It was quite a heartwrenching sight because she was elderly - and one imagines, "Oh if my mum had to send in the streets and hawk goods like this!" Everyone was ignoring her and under normal circumstances, I would have too but my boyfriend however felt moved enough to want to help - and I think both of us telepathically figured she will not accept money without any purchase. I guess we were delusional and boy did we come crashing down to reality quickly.
He approached her display of goodies and picked up an innocuous looking 3 in 1 coffee packet. He handed her a $2 bill - and we were both looking at her expectantly to return us a $1 or at least thank us for our civic mindedness. She barely looked at us but barked out "$4! $4!"! Both of us were so shocked that we went into a kinda dazed situation. She was charging $4 for a small packet of 3 in 1 packet? He had a $5 bill, and we passed it to her and she was rummaging for the change but I told him, let's not bother. The whole scene is still playing before my eyes. I think we were kind of worried that she was going to create a scene if we didn't pay up and we certainly didn't want to create a scene in Orchard! From a feeling of charity and kindness, we were quickly awakened to face the possibility of daylight robbery. My sisters were also shocked and one of them commented in anger, "Should have reported her to the MRT personnel as a tout!"
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